I have discovered that I am unable to turn off the personal finance mentality and have found some fascinating finance things to think about while here in the U.K. Specifically, the cost of living in England and two shows that I watched on my off day. Skint (broke in U.S. lingo) and How the Other Half Live. I found both shows incredibly edgy, honest, and thought provoking.

Skint specifically follows the lives of unemployed individuals in a former steel town in England. This show really hit home for me because a lot of my relatives used to work in factories in a small town. Several of these relatives lost their jobs due to downsizing and factory closures.

Skint takes an almost unflinching look at the downward spiral of poverty, lack of opportunity, and hopelessness. The patriarch of a family of 11 said it best when he told the viewers that he would do anything, anything to provide for his family. The video that I included for this show is not the episode that I actually watched. That episode was outstanding.

Buy back shop=Pawnshop

Pension=Social Security

300 pounds=Almost $460-it DOESN’T go far!

The other show, How the Other Half Lives is a show where a wealthy family sponsors a struggling family in Britain. The idea behind the show is would it be better to sponsor a family in your home country? Then, the show follows the families throughout a 3-6 month period. It is AMAZING how what is considered pocket change to one family is considered a life changing opportunity to another family. I preferred this show because of the affect the experiment had on the kids in both families. The exposure to poverty and wealth helped expand each family’s world view. Unfortunately, I was unable to embed a video from this show. If you want to check out  a video just go to youtube.

I will expand on this post later when I get home next week! Do you ever watch shows like this in your home country? What’s the name of the show? What does it make you think about? 

I am in London right now celebrating one of me dearest friend’s (sister’s) upcoming nuptials. She and her fiancé are speaking loudly…read (about to argue) about the sitting arrangements for their guests. They make it through the potential argument and finish the task at hand. They began working on finalizing the seating  charts at 7:00 pm and now it’s 12:00 am. They’re good to go and now will continue finishing the final details of their wedding.

My friend comes from a large and loving family. Like most of us she has dreamed of meeting that special someone and moving towards the next part of her life. Did I mention she met this guy online? She kept trying and finally met an amazing guy. They are a wonderful couple and compliment one another well.

As I write this blog and read other people’s blogs I notice a couple of things. I notice that some people have this idea that there are strict timelines for certain dreams to come true. That we should all aspire to reach certain goals by certain ages. I also notice that some of us, myself included fall into believing that there are certain dreams that should have reached and completed by certain times/moments in our lives. For example: We should be married by our late 20′s, early 30′s.  We should go to college at 18. That we should travel the world in our 20′s. That we should have children no later than 33. That we should find our life’s calling sometime in our 20′s. If we haven’t done that then we should stop working towards those goals because we have passed the threshold and it’s “too late” to do and have these things that we dream of.

Who said that everyone’s life’s path should go along the same trajectory? Aren’t there curveballs, obstacles, and life that happens along the way? The dreams that we have are fuel to sustain us on this journey called life. Life is so unpredictable wouldn’t it be fun to go against the grain? I like to write down my goals and dreams. I revisit them through out the year and tweak them along the way.  Dream in ways that are audacious and honest. Maybe you want 15 minutes of fame. Why not try out for America’s Got Talent? Maybe you want to be in a music video. Why not make one and edit the hell out of it so it’s super cool and post it on Facebook. Or, do a remake of hit song and make it funny. Maybe you want to travel the world. Start by making connections with people from the place that you would like to visit -save money, make a basic plan, and go from there. A three week trip abroad can be just as amazing and life-changing for some people as a 1 year trip abroad for others. If you want a family, a spouse, or child-keep trying until you create the right fit and family for you. Maybe you meet someone in the park, Meet-Up, or Match.com. Don’t give up.

There are so many dreams that one can have. There is no limit. But if you have lack of vision, the willingness to work hard towards your goals, courage, determination, and the profoundly deep belief that you deserve what you’re looking for-nothing will happen for you.

Your dreams don’t have a shelf-life. If you put them away for awhile nothing says that you can’t take them off the shelf and dust them off. Revisit what didn’t work and try again. You are your best and worst enemy.

Personal finance bloggers in my opinion not only are writing about debt, they also are writing about their vision for themselves and dusting off, revisiting, or being honest about what they dream for themselves. They are getting raw, and getting real and looking what they need to do to get them to where they would like to be. Isn’t that part of dreaming? Creating a vision and working towards it?  It’s not selfish to want what you want for yourself. Regardless of age, sex, and whatever barrier you can think of to keep you from working towards what will make you happy, remove that obstacle and start working towards your dreams. Be honest with yourself. Go for a walk and be HONEST.  What do you want for yourself? What are you willing to do that is audacious (and responsible) to move  you towards where you want to be?

Examples of “dreams” or defying what people said could be done in a certain time frame:

Going to college:

Gail Brant 87 years old graduated in 2010 with honors with a bachelor’s degree.

Carol Strohmetz 70 years old graduate in 2012 with honors with a bachelor’s degree.

Running a Marathon: 

Fauja Singh 101 years old. Ran his last race this year (2013). He began running marathons at 89 years old.

Became a parent over 40 years old (had a baby)

Susan Sarandon- 46 years old

Iman (supermodel)-44 years old

Holly Hunter (actress)-47 years old

**acknowledge that this is hard on the body. Just saying it’s possible***

Became a major success after the age of 50

Major Colonel Sanders-the man who founded Kentucky Fried Chicken…at the age of 65

Laura Ingalls Wilder (writer)-65 years old when she wrote Little House on the Prairie.

Grandma Moses (painter)-started painting at 76 years old

Now that I’ve eliminated age as the reason why you’re not doing something. Could you please go out there and dream big dreams and work hard to achieve them! Create a support group of people who will believe in you.I do. From now on I don’t want to hear how old you are and that you’re too old to dream the dreams that you would really like to achieve. What’s the point of a life without risk, challenge, and reward? Think about it.

Good luck, kick a@@, and dream big.

I’m going to London tomorrow for a wedding! I have been given the honor of being a bridesmaid for a friend who is basically like my sister.

I would love to have a Guest Post during that time and if you’re interested in writing one, please contact me as soon as possible. I am trying to have one Guest Post a month.

I do have regular posts scheduled. But, I may be a little slow responding to comments from May 9, 2013-May 21, 2013.  I will be checking posts and comments/and commenting as often as I can while I’m away. All of the artists on this soundtrack are English. Enjoy.

Conversation Continued:

**I have already realized it’s a scam and am trying to closet the conversation gracefully without alerting him to the fact that I know what’s going on***

April 24, 2013-Mr Phillip Wrote:

Hello ,

Thanks for getting back to me promptly, and also, i really appreciate your expediency.I have Spoken to my secretary regards your first week payment
You will be receiving a check of $2450 out which you will deduct your pay for the first week and the rest of the funds be used for necessary bills in the house while am away , My Secretary will be touching bases with you while am away

You should endeavour to check your email 2-3 times in a day to read updates from us

Thanks

April 24, 2013 My reply

Dear Mr. Phillip,

I accepted a different part-time job and won’t be working for you. DO NOT send me a check. If you do, it will be voided and cut in half and returned to sender.

All the best,

M. Jackson

April 26, 2013-Mr. Phillip keeps trying having ignored my previous email

Greetings ,

How are you doing today? Hope your day is going as planned! Mine has been hectic due to volume of jobs am handling presently,We don’t want you to go through much stress since I told my secretary about the time constrain.I am glad to inform you that the payment has been mailed to you and it will be delivered to you today. It was mailed via USPS and here’s the tracking number: 947010169932xxxxxxxxxx

You can have it tracked via : tools.usps.com/go/TrackConfirmAction.action to know the status of the delivery.

The payment sent to you include your First Week Pay and you will be using the rest of the funds to sort some necessary bills in the house,i already instructed my secretary to mail you the keys and full description to the house.Just ensure that your on the look out for the house,it just some few miles away from you.Currently there is Security upgrade going on in the house, once it has being completed you can start working.

I will like you to have the check deposited in your bank today or deposit it via your bank ATM so that you can have access to withdraw the cash in 12 hours .Kindly email back as soon as you complete the deposit so that you can be feed with more details.As you are aware that am out of the state at the moment,I will inform my secretary to touch bases with you or you can call him on 970) 658-0783 and you can also reach me directly on +44 702 409 0843

I’ll await to read from you as soon as possible.

Regards,

April 26, 2013-My Reply

Hi,

The check will be shredded upon arrival.

MJ

Mr. Phillips tries again April 26, 2013

Thanks for Getting back to me Promptly , Currently there is a security upgrade going on in the house , my secretary will mail you the keys and description to the house once the upgrade is done so you can start your work , He should contact you anytime soon ,His name is Tom Burner , And also ensure the check is deposited for clearance once it cleared you will be deducting your first week payment and you use the rest of the funds to sort out some necessary bills in the house , hope to read from you soon thanks

Regards .

***I received a check that was for $2750. The check was mailed from Ohio and drawn from a bank in Minnesota. From someone allegedly doing business in Colorado***

MY REPLY-Because at this point I’m basically sick of this shit.

Mr. Phillip,

Stop emailing me. I have marked this email as spam. I won’t deposit the check and will shred it/tear it up/write void on it/cut it up/and burn it. Basically, I don’t want anything to do with this shady situation.

Thanks,

MJ

I haven’t heard from him since.

Getting ready to go postal on this check

 First-A HUGE Thank you to the Debt Free Divas and all of the wonderful people who participated in the Shop My Closet Project Challenge. I hope you saved money, had fun, and started to think creatively about using what you have without feeling deprived.

Second: I continue to use my sh$t and am slowly but surely using up all of the product that I purchased. I love the perfume bottle! It’s a BCBG perfume that I picked up from either Ross or TJ Maxx. It smelled fantastic.

Spending Snippet:

Monday, April 22, 2013-ZERO

Tuesday, April 23, 2013-ZERO

Wednesday, April 24, 2013-$1 coffee

Thursday, April 25, 2013-ZERO

Friday, April 26, 2013-$1.69 coffee

Saturday, April 27, 2013-

• $95 fees for Community Garden (covers water, tools, compost, and speakers)
• $25-Groceries at Albertsons
• $2-Iced Coffee-rode my bike to garden across town.
• $2-Perrier-worked on garden with other gardeners for 2 1/2 hours.
• $5.65-Romance Novel

Sunday, April 28, 2013-

• $11.25 Coffee and Starbuck’s gift card
• $1.98-Kind Bar

Extra Money:

I have tasked myself with growing my income through online and other business endeavors. I will be traveling most of the month of May, so I will begin working in earnest on growing my money in June when I return.

$30-Survey-I got to try out a new mascara, it was an amazing product! AND, I got paid for doing the survey

Health:

I have been sick on an off through out the entire Spring. The weather has been crazy, but this is RIDICULOUS! I am obviously not resting enough and paying enough attention to my health. That will be number one on my priority list.

Guest Blogger:

I would love to have someone do a guest post sometime this month while I’m gone. I would also be interested in lining up two guest bloggers for June. If you’re interested please contact me as soon as possible as I will be traveling next week and am hoping to set up at least one post to be run during the month of May.

Completely random:

I actually want to see some movies…maybe even in the theater. Here are a few that I’m looking at. What about you? I have a theory that art/music/literature/movies have gotten better since the Recession. We are feeling things a little more deeply. Like pain and depression. LOL.

I can’t wait to see this movie!! I got a groupon for this too.

I will be re-reading The Great Gatsby before watching this movie. I’ve also been obsessively listening to the soundtrack on NPR. It is fantastic!!

Don’t judge. I like these movies and would love to be an extra in an action film. I need to get started on that project.

2.) Johnny Moneyseed-Establishing a new American Dream

3.) Mish Lovin’ Life-And then he ate a scorpion. These two are ridiculously cute and I love reading about their adventures. It’s so nasty watching the video in this post. Eww.

4.) Mr 1500-I don’t want fries with my Retirement. Don’t really have to explain this one.

5.) Blond on a Budget-The only motivational blog post I’ll ever write. I tend to think her whole journey is motivational. I put this post under the truth hurts but you have to hear it…

6.) Do or Debt-Yay! My First Negative Comment Why do people try to bring other people down?

If you’re unlucky, you may be sideswiped by how much you suck during your review. It’s my opinion that reviews are a necessary and important process of employee development. However, the way reviews are done makes a huge difference in how successful employees will be in the work place. Touching base twice a year is not effective and quite frankly it’s pretty ineffective. If you tell me that there was a negative incident with a customer that was observed 3 months ago and I don’t remember it the incident-I’m going to be a little pissed off. Why? Well, there are a couple of issues that I have with this scenario. One, why didn’t the supervisor touch base with the employee at the time of the incident? Was the employee sick? Were there mitigating circumstances? Have there been problems with the same customer before? Or, is the employee unhappy?

I read a tweet the other day by a woman who runs a small business. Melinda Emerson? The tweet basically said that if there is a problem with customer service then it’s important to look at how the employees are being treated. Is the office culture one where the employee is uncomfortable? Do the employees feel empowered and valued?

Look at the United States Postal Service. I’ve written about it before and we all know about the problems the U.S.P.S is having.  We have all joked about Post Office employees going “postal.” Well is it surprising? What about the Department of Motor Vehicles? Both places have people working with the public in high stress situations all day long. The people are standing on their feet, most buildings are built were built in the 70s (or so it seems) with few windows, fresh air, or natural lighting.

I wonder how employees in these business are encouraged or given positive/negative feedback. in regards to their job performance?

I dread my annual review because unfortunately we are reviewed on a yearly basis. I feel like all the proverbial crap is about to be purged that I didn’t know was clogging up the system. Just bend over and take it.

I work with the public, specifically with an almost exclusively international clientele. One of the issues that constantly comes up is the need to negotiate to get what the client wants. One person may come up to me several times throughout the day to try and negotiate what they want or to confuse me to the point where I give the answer that they are looking for.

I am the “no” person at my job due to the nature of my work. I am the only person who consistently says “no” at my job. Not because I want to, but, because I have to because of the nature of my job. Add to that various levels of English language ability and your create a stew of frustration, exhaustion, and extreme irritation. I must say, most of my clients are very fun and wonderful to work with but the ones who aren’t have begun to drive me crazy because by nature I don’t negotiate. I would if I could because it would make my life easier. But, I can’t and so that’s how it is. I always advocate on behalf of my clients, but they also have to meet me half-way.

Unfortunately, because I have to say “no” I get a lot of client comments around why I said “no” and they are upset. It’s a lose lose situation and frankly it has begun to wear me out. When I get my review I know that I will never really exceed expectations because there is a belief that I am not serving the customers well. It has become quite frustrating especially since I used to be known in other jobs for my excellent customer service.  Part of the reason I blog is to help me visualize and move towards a new work situation that is a lot more encouraging and empowering.

I have begun to realize that I would like to work for myself…soon

I wrote about how Michelle’s extra money posts are addictive to me. They’re addictive because I see a way out of my situation. I have figured out what I want to do and will be working aggressively towards that end goal. I understand that I will probably work my current job for another two years and that’s ok. It is a wonderful organization and I really like my colleagues and I even really like our clients!

 In the meantime I am trying to figure out how to change client interactions so that I can say “no” 5 times, 5 different ways without escalating a situation or being perceived as being unhelpful or rude.  Did I mention that my clients are in the same building that I work in?

The other thing is compensation. Since 2007 or 2008 we haven’t had a raise like most people. I was finally granted a change to my level last year and was given a raise to reflect that change. This year we might receive a 2% cost of living adjustment. I really appreciate that upper management is working to start giving employees raises again and are working to figure out ways to retain good employees and remain competitive. I also appreciate the concern for work-life balance in the culture of the organization that I work for.

 In terms of employee compensation, I have a suggestion. I think that bonuses should be instituted (we don’t get bonuses), and no, people shouldn’t be given automatic bonuses. We should have to earn them on a quarterly basis. There should be a maximum bonus amount for each pay grade. The great thing about a system structured like this is that you would have to have constant feedback from your direct supervisor(s). Any issues that come up would be dealt with much more quickly and the employee buy-in would be greater because they would be motivated by the bonus possibility.

I would like to recapture the level of success that I previously had at my job when I first started. I’m not sure how to change this situation and I’m getting tired. I would like this situation to improve and want to do my best for the clients I work with. I would like to at least eliminate the perception that I am not helpful…while saying “no.”

Do you guys have suggestions? Because, honestly, I’m at a loss, and I’m really tired of being seen as the bad guy.

Have a great Thursday!

Michelle

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