WhenI was a little girl I began journaling. Childish scribbles about the issues that small children worry about. As time went on I continued journaling and I am amazed at the fact that I continue to do something that I started so young. The written word has been a constant presence in my life in the form of books, journaling, blogging, and freelance writing-I can’t imagine my life without journaling.
My Money Journal
Has been a different experience from my regular journaling practices because I only focus on experiences related to…all things money. I expose my thoughts to myself about why I do what I do with my money. It’s an eye opening experience.
I began journaling specifically about money because I have been trying to work through money mindsets that I believe are keeping me from finishing my debt free journey, growing more wealth, and savings.
I realized that the money stories that I learned as a kid have colored my money story in a very negative way. While I learned to work hard by watching my mom I also learned (unintentionally) the following about money:
- It’s hard to come by.
- Money is associated with struggle.
- That I will just barely have enough and to always prepare for when there isn’t any money-because that will happen.
- To ask for just enough to get by…don’t expect more.
- That there will be more famine than feast when it comes to my money.
- That I will always have jobs that barely pay enough.
The Truth Behind These Lessons
The truth is my mother never intended that these would be the money lessons that I would learn. She worked hard and focused on: education, being thankful for what she had, leading her life with a high level of integrity, and caring for others. She wanted me to value education, to have a high level of integrity and to dream BIG. What I missed as a child was how audacious it was for my mom to get not one, but two degrees (almost three) when she was a young mother with a small kid.
I didn’t get that I learned the value of each: penny, nickel, dime, quarter, and dollar. Or, that I had enough, how to find a good deal, amazing resources, and that despite everything I was living a good life. I had ballet lessons, gymnastics lessons, and learned how to ride horses. I went to 8 week sleep away camp and Outward Bound. I learned how to be resourceful and not accept “no” when I want to make something happen…financially.
I forgot about learning the value of education as I sat quietly coloring or reading in college classes while my mom attended class. While I did learn about the power of a dream, I didn’t understand that dreams have different components to them. They come with the good and the bad. Some victories are harder won than others. My mom’s journey from being a young divorcee with a small kid and a high school diploma to well-educated black woman with property in the #1 city in the U.S. is a story that inspires me. I realize now that for my mom to do what she did she had an expansive vision of what was possible-basically she dreamed BIG.
Given all of the positive lessons that I learned from my mom how is it that I focused so much on the hard parts of the financial story that she has lived? Well, her story has been so freaking hard. Nothing has come easily. But, she kept on trying and maybe that was the real lesson that I was supposed to learn.
My Money Journal
Revealed how easy it is for children to learn the wrong things because children are just learning lessons about the world. As an adult I understand nuances and journaling about my money I get the nuances of why I get in my own way financially and it has been a powerful revelation. Understanding my money story has enabled me to make professional changes that will hopefully positively affect my bottom line.
I am at a turning point in my journey and am doubling down on my money journaling habit. At this point I want to be in alignment with how I think about money, how I handle my money, what I believe in terms of my ability to earn money, and what I believe can attract to me. This post is a bit of ramble but you get the picture.
Do You Journal About Money?
Where You Surprised By What It Revealed?
*That’s not the type of journal I use but I like this picture LOL!*