I used to be so angry about my bills. I would curse them, curse my stupidity, and curse the fact that I had to allocate my money each month towards someone else’s pockets. Over the years this anger changed to resignation, acceptance, and now gratitude.
Payments for Blessings Already Received
I’ve made a lot of bad money decisions in my past and even fairly recent life because of my lack of financial knowledge, keeping up with the Joneses, or I just used the resources that I had at the time.
Many of my money mistakes also were the result of life happening and financial immaturity. While I would not consider my financial picture “great.” I would like to say that my relationship with money has changed profoundly.
I am thankful.
I am thankful for my student loans that enabled me to educate and support myself when I had no other resources with the exception of some grants, a few scholarships, and my campus job. I am thankful for the credit cards that allowed me to travel abroad, experience new cultures, and meet new people.
I am even thankful for all of the hard money lessons that I’ve learned after each epic failure with these tools. You would think I would learn the lessons after the first epic fail…nope, I had to failure more with money more times than I would like to admit.
I embrace those financial failures because they have put me on the path that I’m on today. And, finally, thankfully I’ve learned to control my money and identify my money language. Kind of like people’s “love language” I believe we also have a “money language.”
My money language in the past consisted of a lot of scarcity words and actions. Here are some examples:
- I just barely have enough
- I need more
- I wish I had
- They have….
- I want…
- Why is it that…?
Fortunately, your money language can change because language is a living entity. My language now includes the following:
- I have enough
- I am grateful
- I can give
- Do you need?
- I keep finding money!
- Things always work out
- I love the hustle!
I had to experience the negative consequences of my financial decisions in order to get to point of just being grateful and getting that I have more than many people in this world have. I am considered RICH by 97% of the occupants of the entire world. That’s insane.
- Running Water
- Enough food that I’m actually a little overweight.
- Clothes-In fact, I have so many clothes I keep getting rid of them…even though I’ve basically stopped shopping several years in a row.
- Good teeth
- Access to healthcare
- Received free medication for an illness that I caught as a kid when I lived in a foreign country.
- I FIND money all the time. I didn’t understand what a big deal this was until I went to Argentina. You never find money or, more specifically, change because people HORDE change.
- Access to free goods and services that make my life pretty awesome.
I’m blessed! And, I no longer doubt this. I no longer want to use credit to the “bridge the gap” between me and people that I don’t know and who don’t really care about how my perception of their life affects my financial decisions.
I Get It
People are focused on themselves. In this year of rebuilding, I am focused 100% on me. Because I’m good but financially I could be better. I am rolling up my sleeves AGAIN and staying focused on the big picture.
No More Credit
I have no interest in ever using credit again in my life. I see no need to because I’ve learned to manage my wants and love the simplicity of just paying cash and being done. I don’t want my money to be connected to any other entity or person other than my future spouse. I have no interest in borrowing money from entities or people and after what feels like a lifetime of falling on my face financially I finally get it.
However each time I pay a debt off I will say “thank you!” And be grateful for the money that I earned to pay the debt. I will think about the experiences that I had connected to the debt and the think about how it feels to use cash for my needs and how it feels so much simpler to just pay and move on. I’m addicted to that feeling of simplicity.
I look forward to the day when I’m debt free but until then I will say “thank you” for those blessings already received.